OK Everyone! Come to order!! Simma down now!! Simma down!!!!
It is Award time! (APPLAUSE!!)
At this time, the Staff and Management here at The Idiot Speaketh, would like to present….
(Drumroll)
THE INCREDIBLY PRESTIGIOUS “OH MY BLOG!” BLOG AWARD to the following deserving bloggers….
Miranda at Scattering Moments
Lisa at Woman Wielding Words.
Jamie at The Life of Jamie.
Steve at The Odd Ramblings..
Tori at The Ramblings.
Mrs. Firepants at whatimeant2say.
Sparrow at Sparrow’s Ramblings.
Jackie at The Slowvelder.
H.E. ELLIS at H.E. ELLIS.
nrhatch at Spirit lights the Way.
Blog buddy John Erickson (No blog)
My Blonde Cousin Whitney (No blog)
Very Important!! Also….anyone not listed here who was recently graced by the presence of a certain “Extra super dooper yippy skippy super commenter” in recent days.
If I did not mention you, I apologize, this award is very much for you as well!
The INCREDIBLY PRESTIGIOUS “OH MY BLOG!” BLOG AWARD is awarded to those folks that recently bravely fought in, showed exceptional bravery and valor in, and then survived, unscathed, the now infamous “Monty Python and the Holy Grail Holy War BlogApocalypse Mudslinging Shoutfest of 2011 presented by Depends Undergarments“.
Congratulations on this prestigious award!!
There are some requirements of those accepting the award however.
1. You must display this award on your own blog so that others will know of your service and bravery.
2. You must do a solo interpretive dance to any 70′s Disco song of your choice, preferrably while wearing underwear.
3. You must list on your blog, or in comments to this post, a detailed description of your most embarrassing obsessive-compulsive disorder affliction. (Mine is pillows. I have to have all five pillows in exactly the same position, to the inch, or I cannot sleep.)
4. You must try to visit at least 3 new blogs today. Go to blogs you already visit and then visit the the blogs of 3 commenters who’s blogs you have never visited.
5. You must approach someone within your family, workplace, or school, that is obviously having a bad day, and you must grab them by the shoulders, shake them violently if needed, and then scream at the top of your lungs…”Lighten up already!! SMILE!!!! Life is too freaking short to be in a bad mood!!!”. If you honestly have no one you can accost, a small pet, toy, stuffed animal, or ham, will also work.
If you do not have a blog, you must print out this shiny green award, must cut it out, and must wear it visibly on your shirt or blouse whenever you are out in public for the next week. If you are going topless, stick it on your appendages with duct tape. Duct tape truly does work on everything!
That’s it!
Release the Doves!!!!
(Wipe tear from eye)
It’s open bar!!
Last one to the bar is a rotten egg!
————————————————————-
**** 2011 North American Bike Tour ***************
Miles today: 52
Miles this year: 7407
Days on Bike: 170
Avg miles per day: 43.6
Miles this month for GMR Charity: 257
Ipod song: “Shock the Monkey” – Peter Gabriel
Current Location: The Idiot is now pedaling through the industrial city of Johnstown, Pa. Johnstown was a major steel-producing city during much of the 1900′s but most of the Mills have long since closed. The town was also the filming location of the Paul Newman hockey classic “Slap Shot”, and the Tom Cruise High School Football film “All the Right Moves”. Tomorrow, I will be heading to an area town of newly historic signifigance.
Congrats to the winners. I’m commenting so that those who are required to visit 3 new blogs today might see my name on the top of the comments and figure, “why not, I’ll check out this guy.”
By: sportsjim81 on October 5, 2011
at 7:51 am
Jim – Great idea…..
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 7:57 am
I am honored, and a little bit terrified, to accept this award. I might have to put off the dance until my back feels better (does it count that last week I spontaneously started dancing to “I Will Survive”?). I will, however, try to fulfill my obligations. So, ahem, my most embarrassing OCD affliction is this. I sleep with stuffed animals. Three to be exact (a moose, a pig, and a cow). They must be piled up in the precise way, moose on the bottom, cow on the top). They are the perfect height and snuggle factor for my arm. My husband, is a little too big for comfort. Go ahead and laugh, but I love my stuffed animals. And, whenever we leave the house for too long, Jasper (the younger dog) steals the moose and takes it to wherever he decides to nap for the day.
By: Lisa (Woman Wielding Words) on October 5, 2011
at 8:01 am
Finally! An award I sort of earned! Woohoo! There are so many people I would like to thank: Steve Jobs for sticking to it and giving me a working tool to earn this award, Bill Gates for ensuring that I became a Steve Jobs worshipper, the inventor of chocolate for inventing chocolate, and of course curmudgeonly gentlemen everywhere, not the least for allowing me to use curmudgeonly in a sentence! I can’t wait until I get my “I survived the Monty Python and the Holy Grail Holy War BlogApocalypse Mudslinging Shoutfest of 2011 presented by Depends Undergarments” T-shirt!
By: Taochild on October 5, 2011
at 8:04 am
Oh, and does it count if I look at myself in the mirror and yell at myself? After my foul mood of yesterday, I need someone to snap me out of it.
By: Lisa (Woman Wielding Words) on October 5, 2011
at 8:05 am
Lisa – Don’t feel silly…. my pillow thing is the same way….each pillow has to be in the EXACT same spot in relation to each other before I can sleep. And don’t even think about trying to pillowcase #3 on pillow #5….because I know the difference! You can do your dance once your back is better!
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 8:16 am
Steve – That would be a heck of a T-Shirt! I wonder if someone could do one with the Monty Python Knights all wearing Depends…..
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 8:17 am
Lisa – Only if it does cheer you up
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 8:17 am
Mark, it already has.
and we have the power and the technology I think for STEVE to make that t-shirt. Like how I volunteered him? 
By: Lisa (Woman Wielding Words) on October 5, 2011
at 8:20 am
Lisa – Uh Oh……if this is true…… I might want to hire Steve to design and make me some Idiot Speaketh T-Shirts or undergarments….
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 8:23 am
Okay, I guess I was only around to offer one comment in defence of our dear Idiot, so am not honored in the above list. I can accept that. But at least I don’t have to dance. This is a merciful outcome all around, as I don’t dance well–though maybe I’d do better in my underpants, I don’t know. Congrats to all of the above named Warriors and Defenders of the Cause. Long live Idiocy. Long live the Idiot!
Fully clothed and not dancing,
Kathy
By: Kathryn McCullough on October 5, 2011
at 8:27 am
Kathy – Thanks…… be thankful this was one battle you were not involved in…. these were all folks who were visited by “Mr. Personality” as a result of my banning him from commenting on my blog…… these award winners withstood the onslaught of “Mr. Personality’s” overwhelmingly positive and uplifting personal messages to them…… and have lived to tell about it……
I’ll tell you what, next war I inadvertantly start, I will be sure to include you first thing! 
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 8:31 am
I will not be a rotten egg!!! Thanks for the award Mark! You rock! I have truly enjoyed the “Monty Python and the Holy Grail Holy War BlogApocalypse Mudslinging Shoutfest of 2011 presented by Depends Undergarments“. It was truly an enjoyable experience for me to ruffle someone’s feathers!
Lisa, consider the spasms your dance and I will rock out for you extra over here. My OCD affliction- I find nothing more enjoyable than plucking a good ingrown hair, just to see how long it is! The longer the better!
In closing, I would like to thank the academy and all of my fellow nominees…I am in a category with truly amazing people, all willing to take on a bull(y)et for our dear friend the Idiot, or should I say IDIOT? Anyway, we won’t be hearing from that bull(y)et anymore!
No-hio-get your search engine going…:)
Thanks again Mark! (I am doing an interpretive dance to Do a Little Dance, Make a Little Love…complete with a big furry coat- okay it’s a bathrobe- but it could pass for a huge furry coat)
By: thelifeofjamie on October 5, 2011
at 8:33 am
Mafia Princess – Hey! My daughter just saw KC and the Sunshine Band in concert a few nights ago! Did I raise em good or what? 21 years old and she is going to see a 70′s band!
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 8:38 am
She scans the room in utter SHOCK! “Are you sure? Seriously?! Me? Did he say MY name? Oh my gosh…. Oh my GOSH!” She leaps from her seat & bolts up the steps (tripping once, but she MEANT to do that
), onto the stage. Finally taking her place @ the podium, she taps the mic with her index finger making sure it’s on, and w/ tears streaming down her face she looks into the eyes of all the fellow Idiot followers and says, ” Su-WEET! What’d I win? A car? Did I win a CAR?! A trip…….. MUST be a trip?!… Do I get to play PLINKO???? Anyone? Anyone??” She covers the mic with her hand & looks to her cousin, King Idiot… “Why are they shaking their heads with a look of disbelief in their eyes?” He replies, “Because, dear cousin, they’ve just realized what blonde AND idiot genes do to a person.” She says, “Aaaaahhhhh………. Ok? SO…. what’d I WIN?!” 
Doing my happy dance now.
No OCD issues here. What can I say, I’m perfect!
hahahaha….
Thanks for the nod dear cuz. And thanks to the jerks of our world who do nothing but unite us AWESOME folks!
By: Blonde Cousin on October 5, 2011
at 8:52 am
Blonde Cousin – Look at Whitney’s comment folks…. look at that deranged first paragraph….. is there ANY doubt that we are related?
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 9:01 am
PS. GREAT job on the cycling. Keep up the good work.
By: Blonde Cousin on October 5, 2011
at 9:04 am
Blonde Cousin – Still pedaling….as long as the Rangers are still alive in the Playoffs, I will have something to watch while pedaling….
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 9:06 am
[...] let me start off by saying I WON AN AWARD! The Idiot gave it to me an I will treasure it! Here it [...]
By: My Stupid CoWorker « The Life of Jamie on October 5, 2011
at 9:16 am
Rock on with your bad self!
BTW: He-who-shall-not-be-named-so-as-not-to-feed-his-narcissistic-proclivities paid a visit to my blog. My spam filter captured his comment.
I chose to adopt the spam filter’s decision as my own rather than releasing He-who-shall-not-be-named-so-as-not-to-feed-his-narcissistic-proclivities into the blogosphere yet again. And away go troubles down the drain . . .
I love my spam filter.
By: nrhatch on October 5, 2011
at 9:57 am
Nrhatch – Congrats! (I think) sorry Mr. Sunshine graced your spam folder….. this award is then for YOU as well!! Please display it on your blog and follow the required instructions! I will add your name to the original post right now!
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 10:00 am
Johnstown, PA was also nearly wiped off the map by a flood in the 1800′s.
By: BrainRants on October 5, 2011
at 11:09 am
brainrants – I saw that they have had like 3 huge floods there….. I think I would buy a home….on a hill….. if I lived there…..,.
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 11:14 am
Re: Johnstown, PA & floods……. I vote houseboat.
By: Blonde Cousin on October 5, 2011
at 12:02 pm
Blonde Cousin – Another wise choice.
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 12:03 pm
Whooo! An Award! I’m humbled and grateful!
And, the laughs you provided me in today’s blog were sorely needed. Thanks!
HUGS!
Sparrow
By: Sparrow on October 5, 2011
at 12:08 pm
Sparrow – Always glad to help….now get to dancing!
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 12:25 pm
Many congrats to all the most worth recipients! And let’s hear it for anyone with the word “Ramblings” in their blog title! And for SportsJim81 who was the first to comment! And for exclamation points!
By: lifeintheboomerlane on October 5, 2011
at 1:12 pm
Renee – I shoulda called my blog… The Idiot Rambleth…..
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 1:17 pm
Seriously.
By: lifeintheboomerlane on October 5, 2011
at 1:54 pm
Renee – Maybe that is what I will call the Sequel blog….once this one has died out….
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 1:55 pm
Thank you VERY much for the award! I am deeply honoured! (Seriously!)
Hmm, OCD affliction? I’m too disorganised for that. Other than our earlier pillow discussion, I’d have to go with screwdrivers. (The tools, NOT the drink, ya buncha alkis!) Phillips screwdrivers (vodka and milk of magnesia) must be separate from straight-blade (“standard”), which must be separate from Torx, which must be separate from hex-heads. I can deal with a pile of miscellaneous wrench sockets, but the screwdrivers gotta be segregated!
And I did the “grab somebody” to my cat. Freaked her out, she ran from the room in terror. Which is fine, ’cause she’s the lard-butt that crashed my laptop (literally). “Revenge is a dish best served while screaming!” It ain’t Khan, but it’s close.
By: John Erickson on October 5, 2011
at 1:55 pm
No-Hio – There is more than one type of screwdriver? Who knew?
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 1:57 pm
Congrats to the winners! Everyone please don’t forget to post videos of your interpretive underwear dances! Remember, it’s a stipulation of accepting the award.
By: savorthefolly on October 5, 2011
at 2:36 pm
Follmeister – I’ll post my interpretive dance video and then will watch the daily hits crash through the floor as people are screaming for the exits…..
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 3:28 pm
There is no stipulation that the underwear has to be visible. Just saying . . .
By: Lisa (Woman Wielding Words) on October 5, 2011
at 3:33 pm
Lisa – Nit picker
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 3:34 pm
Lisa – you are correct, nude dancing is a totally acceptable alternative, just so long as underwear is incorporated into the dance in some form or another.
By: savorthefolly on October 5, 2011
at 3:57 pm
I am so honored! And even more so because you managed to integrate Monty Python into your award presentation. I am going to work on my interpretive dance right now. I am happy to note that you do not require video proof of that, however.
By: whatimeant2say on October 5, 2011
at 4:12 pm
whatimeant2say – You greatly deserve the award….. Now get to dancing!
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 4:17 pm
oh darn. Got me on a technicality.
By: savorthefolly on October 5, 2011
at 4:30 pm
savorthefolly, when did this blog take an x-rated turn. Oh, may it was when the person we are no longer naming discussed his relationship with hookers on someone’s blog.
By: Lisa (Woman Wielding Words) on October 5, 2011
at 4:31 pm
[...] I’ve just been informed by my good friend from THE IDIOT SPEAKETH that I am a recipient of The Incredibly Prestigious Oh My Blog Award! [...]
By: Oh My Blog Award! « H.E. ELLIS on October 5, 2011
at 4:46 pm
Lisa, sorry am I coming off as a lecherous dude? I am a female who finds the occasional adult humor funny (and perhaps secretly would find it quite liberating to be able to dance naked without reservation?). Part of the reason I love Mark’s blog is he has always been able to joke about such things while still being respectful of women. Obviously the person who shall remain nameless does not share this skill with Mark.
I don’t believe I’ve read your blog before, I’ll have to come by and check it out. Again, congrats on the award!
By: savorthefolly on October 5, 2011
at 4:56 pm
[...] But this reward comes with great responsibilities, ones that I need to prepare for. Among other things I have been volunteered to create a T-shirt for the “Monty Python and the Holy Grail Holy War BlogApocalypse Mudslinging Shoutfest of 2011 presented by D…“. [...]
By: Thinking … beware! | The odd ramblings of a mind that does not quite fit on October 5, 2011
at 5:23 pm
savorthefolly, no worries. I didn’t mean to sound like a prude, I was trying to go along with the joke. And the creepy comment man really did announce his prowess with women and his pride of being with four prostitutes in a comment he made to Jamie. Woo hoo! Good for him, right. I think dancing naked actually does sound freeing, as long as there are no video cameras in the way. Actually, if you are going to stop by my blog, you should read the post I wrote a long time ago called, The Legend of the Super Bra. Truly freeing.
I’ll be by to visit your post soon. You get to be one of my new three.
By: Lisa (Woman Wielding Words) on October 5, 2011
at 5:45 pm
Oops, do you have a blog savorthefolly?
By: Lisa (Woman Wielding Words) on October 5, 2011
at 5:46 pm
I do but have not posted in a long time. Feel free to stop by, maybe I’ll find inspiration again soon.
http://www.savorthefolly.wordpress.com
By: Savor the folly on October 5, 2011
at 6:20 pm
Follmeister – So your open for business again?
Now I gotta add you to the blogroll…..UH…..GAIN….. 
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 6:22 pm
I feel so loved! Thanks so much. As far as the OCD thing, you’d be banning me next because I could write for days on this! If I had to just pick one it would be…my bookshelves. I CANNOT handle someone moving my books around. Sometimes my husband turns them upside down and backwards just to get me going. He is amazed that I notice every single time after being in the room only 5 seconds. GRRRRR!
By: Miranda Gargasz on October 5, 2011
at 8:11 pm
Miranda – Bookshelves? Miranda you freak!
My pillow thing doesn’t sound half bad now….. 
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 5, 2011
at 8:28 pm
Congrats to the winnas. I especially liked #5 of things to do. I got a good laugh from and may do it myself just because.
By: mzem on October 5, 2011
at 8:58 pm
I can’t believe that I missed all of the excitement.
By: Booksphotographsandartwork on October 5, 2011
at 9:03 pm
[...] blog got an award. This is not just any award. I don’t usually do the blog award thing but this one is [...]
By: Oh my blog! | The Slowvelder on October 6, 2011
at 4:24 am
mzem – Just because is one of my favorite reasons to do anything…
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 6, 2011
at 7:41 am
Linda – Be glad this is one party you missed
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 6, 2011
at 7:43 am
Thank you for NOT including me in the list of recipients of this very, extremely prestigious award. Requisite items 3 and 5 would make me feel embarrassed – I don’t ever want to share my OCD affliction with anyone and all my family members with one exception, are much taller/bigger than me so I wouldn’t fare too well. Oh maybe Lotte my Tibetan Spaniel would do. She weighs only 4.5 kgs and is about 2 ft tall.
So thanks again and is there some reward for the most exclamation marks in a set of comments to a post? This one must be way out in front – and if there isn’t, we’ll start one. OK?.
By: Judith on October 6, 2011
at 10:50 pm
Judith – When exclamation point award time comes around, both you and me will be sure to get rewarded
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 7, 2011
at 7:39 am
hahaha #3? DONE. I just so happen to start my morning that way every. single. day
By: Tori Nelson on October 7, 2011
at 7:57 am
Tori – That does not surprise me
By: TheIdiotSpeaketh on October 7, 2011
at 8:02 am
[...] I recently received an award that I actually earned, I thought I would really like to create an award for somebody who I think does not yet realize or [...]
By: Giving Out an Award–Weekend Challenge « Woman Wielding Words on October 8, 2011
at 7:53 pm