THE IDIOT SPEAKETH

Hello!

I am “The Idiot“, though my actual name is Mark.

I am a forty-something married father of three who lives in rural North Texas, about halfway between “Are we there yet?” and “Oh my God we are so lost!”.

I am disabled and am now a stay-at-home manservant/househusband. I got disabled back in 1999 due to a Malpractice error by my spinal surgeon during a routine back surgery. This has left me with a Neurological Condition that 99.9% of people on the planet have never heard of, called Cauda Equina Syndrome. (CES) Prior to getting hurt, I dabbled in about every occupation on the planet, including doing stints as a Cave Guide, an Intelligence Analyst in the Air Force, working in the Airline Industry, and worked for years as a Nurse.

Two of my children are now grown and have long since left the nest, with just our youngest son, who I call “The Kid”, still left at home. My wife works in the Education Field so during the 9 month school year, it is just me and two obese house cats here at home.

I am not a writer and have never had any type of formal writing instruction, which is painfully obvious once you read enough of my stuff.

Though in the early stages of middle age, I still have the mind of a teenager, which often results in my doing stupid things and usually results in my having all kinds of idiotic adventures.

“The Idiot” that this blog pertains to is me, at least a greatly exaggerated version of me. Let’s just think of “The Idiot” as my alter-ego or other personality.

My wife, who I cleverly call “The Wife”, has stood by my idiotic existence for over 20 years of marriage. She is a legend and role model to all the great ladies who read this blog. How she has put up with me for all these years and still kept her sanity is a mystery to everyone that knows us.

Most of this blog is humor and is based on my idiot life.

Yes, I really am addicted to Skittles, Disco music, Soap Operas, Jennifer Aniston, Chinese Food, and anything that does not involve actually using my brain.

Not everything you read on here, in the humor posts, is entirely true and accurate. I can exaggerate with the best of them. My wife would call me the “King of BS”, but I think “Idiot” is so much more accurate. Most every post is based on an actual incident and has at least a shred of truth to it. Some posts may be 90% truth and 10% fiction, while others may be just the opposite. I leave it to you to decide which scenario is correct on any particular post.

I do occasionally write totally serious posts. I have battled Depression for years and often blog about my own battles with the Depression and my current Disabilities. Once you read me long enough, you will be able to easily tell the serious posts from the goofy ones.

When able physically, I am in the process of riding my stationary exercise bike across the US and Canada. If you see an update at the bottom of some posts, with pics of certain exotic locations, that is just my updating my “virtual” progress on my bike trip. As of August, I have racked up over 6,000 miles this year.

***UPDATE*** As only a true idiot can do, I somehow managed to break my one good foot while riding the stationary bike. This turned out to be a great blessing. While seeing an Ortho Specialist for the broken RIGHT foot, he noticed the crippled LEFT foot. Bottom line: He thinks he can help the crippled left foot via surgery. I am having surgery on Dec. 20th, 2011 and will have to be off my bad leg for up to 9 weeks afterwards, but if the surgery is successful, my mobility will be greatly improved. As of the time I broke the foot, I had surpassed 8,000 miles on the bike this year. I guess 8,000 is my true “breaking point”…so to speak….

You will also see “Flashback” posts about movies, TV, music, and personalities of the 70′s and 80′s on this blog. I actually have another site that contains all these flashback posts and I have grown too lazy to maintain both blogs. So, in the interest of laziness, I am transferring the posts from that blog onto this one.

What prompts many of my goofy posts?

Well, sometimes I just have a lightbulb click on in my head and a look of “Total Intellectual Awesomeness” will come over my face…

Kinda like this…

While in these brief periods of Intellectual Nirvana is when I do most of my most warped writing…

That’s about it in a nutshell. Thank you so much for stopping by and for taking a moment to check out my little goofy blog.

Also, you may notice me reply to commenters who’s names do not match any actual comments…. I love Nicknames…. if your screen name is too hard for my lazy fingers to easily type, I will most likely grace you with a nickname before you know it. Often, these nicknames are longer than your actual screen name…something only an idiot like myself would do….

I do this blog because I like to hopefully make people smile or laugh a little bit each day in these otherwise tough and depressing times.

Have a great day!

Mark aka “The Idiot”

**You may occasionally see ads on my posts, especially if you are not a registered WordPress user, or are not logged in to WordPress. These ads are chosen by WordPress and I have no control over them, much to my dismay. I do not endorse anything that may show up on any of my posts**